Liberato
A Poem (or a mantra, or a prayer)
It was 1:50am. I couldn’t sleep. My mind ventured from one idea to the next. Subsumed by restlessness, I wandered downstairs to the couch. It was there, on the coffee table, where I had left it earlier in the evening.
I immediately became compelled to dive back in.
What began as an all-inclusive vacation in a beautiful place had morphed into something…additional. I had a rudimentary understanding of Cuba’s history, its political struggles, its people - but ascending the steps in The Centro Fidel Castro museum in Havana, peering into the stained glass, a wave of emotion washed over me. I wasn’t sure why.
As our guide whispered interpretations in my ear as we reached the second floor, a second wave of emotion gripped me. The historical weight of the country was beginning to dawn on me - an unfolding so visceral and consuming, a connection to another time, but rooted in the present moment.
I closed the book. The word ‘liberato’ rang through my head. I don’t ever recall knowing or hearing this word, but it’s possible. I scanned the pages of the book - had I read it there? The only reference I could find made mention of the Alianza Libertadora Nacionalista. I have often had the experience of a word appearing in my mind’s eye, only to reach for a dictionary or my phone to identify its meaning. Sometimes when words suddenly emerge in this way, it can mean I am meant to do…something.
I grabbed my phone to look up liberato. From a google search:
Liberato is a name of Latin origin (from Liberatus) meaning “freed man,” signifying someone liberated from slavery, sin, or the devil, and is used as a personal name and surname in Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese cultures, embodying concepts of freedom and independence.
Meaning Breakdown
Root: Derived from the Latin word liber, meaning “free” or “liberty”.
“Freed Man”: Refers to a person released from bondage (slavery) or spiritual bondage (sin, devil).
Connotations: Symbolizes freedom, independence, liberation, and even the Roman god of wine and freedom, Liber.
Usage
Personal Name: Used as a given name, with a feminine form Liberata.
Surname: A common family name in Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese-speaking regions.
Examples
Related: Liberatore.
About 5 years ago I made a conscious decision to do more observing, less expressing. Sometimes in life we expand, other times, we contract. I had spent 2015-2019 doing alot of public expressing; musically, with the written word, and creatively through film.
But then in the spring of 2020, I felt a call to do more inward expressing. I became less involved in social media. I began to write for my eyes only. Journal after journal, notebook after notebook, songs, musings, reflections, pages and pages filled - all, just for me. While it was a public contraction, it was a personal expansion.
Leading up to 2019, I had tired of the game to always stay relevant by releasing content, whether daily or weekly. I didn’t like the expectation, and I had started to resent the process. The dance of pursuing ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ had grown exhausting. I wanted the freedom to write, or sing, or communicate, when I felt I had something meaningful to share, not because I needed to build an audience or satisfy my algorithms. I needed to return to doing anything, only, for love. And only when the time was absolutely right. And then another shift…
About 28 months ago, I began to express publicly again, through this blog, and in limited ways through social media. The timing felt right. I was in the flow, as they say, on a roll - things were happening almost effortlessly. While I was developing my own film and music projects in private, others were hiring me to do small, local film projects for them. A wedding here, an HR training video there, music fests and concerts - I was learning and back to enjoying the process.
And then in May of 2024, grief struck with the passing of my father. I have felt grief before, but this was Grief. It stopped me. My creative spark felt severed, siphoned. I had to accept it wasn’t the right time. The process of letting go took many months.
Recently, I felt another shift. A chunk of grief had lifted. A spark had begun to return. And then, one evening a few weeks ago, I sat in the bathtub and words for a new song (called Walk Away) emerged on the canvas of my mind. Then I picked up the ukelele one night and began learning Nearly Forgot My Broken Heart, by Chris Cornell. I began to fondly and sadly recall doing a segment on Cornell’s death on my radio show at Queen’s back in 2017. What a gift to music he was.
Sometimes we stop ourselves from doing the things we know we can do because we are bitter. Other times it’s because we’ve lost belief in ourselves, our voice, our path. Sometimes it’s because we need to contract and observe more. And yet other times it’s because we are healing. The cycle will continue to repeat, and that’s okay. Hopefully with time and the attainment of wisdom we can become more adept at beating ourselves up, less.
I put down my phone and wrote.
A poem. A mantra. A prayer. For 2026.
Liberato
freed…
from addiction,
from negative thinking,
from poor self-regulation,
from lack of confidence,
from obsession,
from paranoia,
from hate,
from pessimism & cynicism,
from sexual sin or deprivation,
from contexts of bondage,
from unrelenting anger,
from pouting,
from judging others,
from sadness,
from grief,
from extreme swings in thinking,
from unhealthy attachment to money,
from unhealthy attachment to fame,
from unhealthy attachment to more,
from self-loathing,
from the need to be right,
from envy,
from apathy,
from conquering,
from fear.
Through the ups and downs and pain in life, may we always return to joy, laughter and celebration.
Amen.
